On Thursday I had my first real (all-over) post-treatment haircut. This one was "real" because back in October I stopped into a mall salon and had the back trimmed when I woke up and realized I had a 'mullet' (gasp) but didn't have any other sections touched until this past week.
Although my hair has grown pretty quickly this past year, it still feels S-L-O-W since I was starting from scratch (bald). So it was with mixed emotion as I watched about an inch and a half of hair chopped off. I was excited to say goodbye to the chemo-fried hair that plagued the ends of my hair but a bit unnerved to see so much growth fall to the floor. It's a transition. It's a transition. It's a transition.
I had my friend, and sister in Christ, Kristin, cut it for me. It was my first time getting it cut post-treatment and my first time having Kristin cut my hair and I'm so happy I made that decision because talking to her throughout the cut brought me calm and peace and because she's very talented and did a great job shaping my hair and working around the new cowlick that has appeared at the top front of my head. ;)
Thank you, Kristin, for the great haircut and friendship.Our friendship is new but you inspire me to be a better person and Christian.
Thank you, Lord, for getting me through this and so many other challenges along this journey. I'm so blessed and honored to be entrusted with the powerful responsibility of spreading your good news and using my experience to learn, grow and help others whenever possible.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, December 17, 2010
Think you're having a "bad hair day"?
If so, please think instead of all the millions of children, men, and women who are having a NO hair day as a result of going through grueling cancer treatment.
I was one of those that really didn't care too much that I had to lose my hair. I even shaved it all off before it fell out so that I could donate it to a good cause (Locks of Love) before it disappeared on me. In a way, I found being bald liberating. I didn't have to wash or condition hair, didn't have to shave my legs or armpits, and didn't have to blow-dry either! But, I did have to contstantly fear sunburn on my sensitive scalp and deal with itchy hats and scarves to protect my noggin. When I couldn't bear to be seen bald I had several lovely hair pieces to choose from thanks to a great wig store in town (Godiva's Secret). But at home I had to deal with my head being freezing cold at night while laying on cold sheets in an air-conditioned house which of course needed to be kept cold because of the crazy intense hot flashes I was having (chemo-induced menopause).
Part of me wanted my baldness to be seen by others in public - I wanted people to remember that cancer still has no cure. The other part of me dreaded having to relive the horror of my situation by answering questions or seeing people stare at the sick bald lady with the one year old in tow.
One year ago today I shaved my noggin for the last time. For those that don't know this, your hair still does grow a bit in between chemo treatments. Not all chemo causes hair loss but many do - mine did. Anyway, the in-between growth was patchy, sporadic and a bit creepy to be honest. So, it had to be shaved off and I would use Bob's electric razor to shave it once per week throughout my treatment from July - December 2009. On Dec.17th, 2009 I shaved it for the last time (my final chemo was on Dec.15, 2009) before heading to a photographer's studio to have my photograph taken. Crazy, huh?
I wanted to document how I looked. I wanted to remember about as much as I wanted to forget. So, here I am, on my final "NO hair day", one year ago.
Praise the Lord that I got through a full year post-treatment and here I am just a week ago at a park with my son:
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
I was one of those that really didn't care too much that I had to lose my hair. I even shaved it all off before it fell out so that I could donate it to a good cause (Locks of Love) before it disappeared on me. In a way, I found being bald liberating. I didn't have to wash or condition hair, didn't have to shave my legs or armpits, and didn't have to blow-dry either! But, I did have to contstantly fear sunburn on my sensitive scalp and deal with itchy hats and scarves to protect my noggin. When I couldn't bear to be seen bald I had several lovely hair pieces to choose from thanks to a great wig store in town (Godiva's Secret). But at home I had to deal with my head being freezing cold at night while laying on cold sheets in an air-conditioned house which of course needed to be kept cold because of the crazy intense hot flashes I was having (chemo-induced menopause).
Part of me wanted my baldness to be seen by others in public - I wanted people to remember that cancer still has no cure. The other part of me dreaded having to relive the horror of my situation by answering questions or seeing people stare at the sick bald lady with the one year old in tow.
One year ago today I shaved my noggin for the last time. For those that don't know this, your hair still does grow a bit in between chemo treatments. Not all chemo causes hair loss but many do - mine did. Anyway, the in-between growth was patchy, sporadic and a bit creepy to be honest. So, it had to be shaved off and I would use Bob's electric razor to shave it once per week throughout my treatment from July - December 2009. On Dec.17th, 2009 I shaved it for the last time (my final chemo was on Dec.15, 2009) before heading to a photographer's studio to have my photograph taken. Crazy, huh?
I wanted to document how I looked. I wanted to remember about as much as I wanted to forget. So, here I am, on my final "NO hair day", one year ago.
 |
| Photographed by Lee Brubaker Photography |
Praise the Lord that I got through a full year post-treatment and here I am just a week ago at a park with my son:
 |
| Photographed by Amber Katrina Photography |
Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and salvation! I'm so grateful for your healing power and unconditional love. Thank you for leading me back to you. For the brilliant medical care and coverage. For my compassionate employer. For the amazing and supportive family and friends you've placed in my life. For the new perspective. For the daily gifts and miracles. For using me to spread your great news. For every second of precious time.
Psalm 118
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
2 Let Israel say:
“His love endures forever.”
3 Let the house of Aaron say:
“His love endures forever.”
4 Let those who fear the LORD say:
“His love endures forever.”
5 When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD;
he brought me into a spacious place.
6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?
7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
I look in triumph on my enemies.
8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in humans.
9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in princes.
10 All the nations surrounded me,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
11 They surrounded me on every side,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
12 They swarmed around me like bees,
but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
13 I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.
14 The LORD is my strength and my defense;
he has become my salvation.
15 Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
“The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!
16 The LORD’s right hand is lifted high;
the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!”
17 I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.
19 Open for me the gates of the righteous;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.
21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.
22 The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
23 the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
24 The LORD has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.
25 LORD, save us!
LORD, grant us success!
26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.
27 The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine on us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will praise you;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Rest in peace, Elizabeth Edwards
It's always sad when someone dies, even those we don't know personally - celebrities, public figures, anyone that we have admired for one reason or another. But there is a different kind of sadness when someone dies from the disease you yourself have had and fought and fear a recurrence of. I can't explain it except to say it is deeply sad and extremely terrifying.
It makes me so angry that this disease still doesn't have a cure. So much money and effort is put to it and yet cancer is taking over 1500 Americans every day (that's a Titanic ship every day).
Philippians 4:6 (NIV) "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Dear Lord, I beg of you, please bring us the cure. Amen.
It makes me so angry that this disease still doesn't have a cure. So much money and effort is put to it and yet cancer is taking over 1500 Americans every day (that's a Titanic ship every day).
Philippians 4:6 (NIV) "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Dear Lord, I beg of you, please bring us the cure. Amen.
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Pink Wig Dance is Here!
The Pink Wig Dance was produced to celebrate our love for life on the battlefield of breast cancer as young survivors. Armed in pink wigs and hopeful hearts we aim to raise awareness that breast cancer affects women (and men) of all ages. Prancing cancer out of our lives one dance at a time!
Click here to view the Pink Wig Dance!
Please view the video and email the link to your friends and family. Thank you!
Love and blessings,
Julie
Click here to view the Pink Wig Dance!
Please view the video and email the link to your friends and family. Thank you!
Love and blessings,
Julie
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Faith - an evolution
Most people that know me well, especially those who knew me before I was diagnosed with cancer, know that my view on faith and religion has changed significantly since I was diagnosed. I grew up as a non-practicing Christian. As a little kid, mom took me and my brother to church here and there, and we attended Sunday school sometimes but not consistently. When I was in fifth grade and was getting too social for my parents' liking and my brother was threatened with violence on the little league field my parents decided to enroll us in a private Catholic school. Since we aren't Catholic we were exempt from participating in religion class (though we had to sit there and read quietly) and certain activities, we still learned many of the foundations of Catholicism, including the many memorized prayers said in mass. Unfortunately, all the rules and judgment and guilt associated with Catholicism really turned me off and once out of Catholic school I rarely attended church.
I didn't have a good relationship with God, going as far back as when I was a little kid when some really crappy stuff happened to me at the hands of someone that claimed to love me. I couldn't understand how God, if He existed, could let such a horrible thing happen to me or any other child. So, not surprisingly, I became an agnostic young adult. I went back and forth, wanting and needing God to exist and to be on my side but seeing so much pain, struggle made it difficult to trust Him and so I withdrew and became more and more skeptical. I didn't stop praying completely, but I stopped believing it was helping so the prayers become fewer and fewer until finally I found myself one day watching Bill Maher's "Religulous" movie and actually agreeing with most of it just a few years ago when it came out. Wow.
Things began to change after I got married. Poor Bob, bless his heart, thought we were on the same page with this religion stuff. Anyway, we wanted to start a family and I was sure that our advanced age (him being over 50 and me being over 35 at the time) that we may find ourselves unable to do so. I decided to pray. Three weeks later I was pregnant. I figured it was a coincidence since I used a high-tech ovulation predictor to help time things. But at 16 weeks into the pregnancy I was rushed to surgery when it was discovered my cervix was "incompetent" and I nearly lost the baby. Again, I prayed and prayed and prayed, thinking it was a long shot but I didn't want to take the chance because I really wanted and loved this baby. And, even though it was still a long haul after that, including 19 weeks of strict bed rest and nightly prayers asking God to protect my baby from harm, our precious Cooper was born healthy (except for reflux). Hmmm...maybe it was the prayers. Maybe it was just that I followed doc's orders.
Eleven months later I was diagnosed with stage 3c triple negative breast cancer. Found it accidentally after having a highly emotional reaction to my friend and colleague's news that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer just a week before. I had been checked by my doctor every couple months through my pregnancy and every few months after Cooper was born and no suspicious lumps were ever found. You may recall that I went to get a mammogram after feeling a small bump that turned out to be nothing (on the non-cancer side) and that while there for the mammogram the cancer was detected on the other side. A total fluke? Or, was a higher power leading me to make this discovery? Or something else? I know that I sure was lucky to discover it when we did, giving me a more time here on earth to be a mother to my precious young son.
As I began treatment, something in me was quickly evolving. I was seeing life through a new lens - a lens of faith and determination. I started seeing miracles occurring in my life every.single.day. Little things and big things. I couldn't help but think that only God could be responsible for the grace I was experiencing. The more I noticed, the more I prayed. And while not every prayer is answered the way I may have hoped, I believe they have all been answered in some way. And, when I was compelled to find a church where I could explore and develop my new relationship with God, I was led to the most wonderful church in my area, NorthPark Community Church. There I have learned so much in such a short time. I became born again on January 24, 2010 when I was re-baptized, and my faith has been instrumental in my treatment, healing and recovery from stage 3 breast cancer.
I have an uber-long list of examples of the many miracles I've witnessed that have led me to this new place I am in with my faith in God, and someday I will document them and share details. But for now, I just wanted to share that faith really matters, even to this stubborn gal who previously lacked it. And, if you are skeptical or are just the type of person that needs more "evidence", then read and consider the following article about a study revealing the impact of faith and liver transplant survival. This is just one example of many that are out there.
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Transplantation/LiverTransplantation/22530
I believe in the power of prayer. I've seen it work to heal and protect many, including me and my son.
Close family and friends know that my life today barely resembles my life before cancer, largely because of my renewed faith. I never thought I'd say it or believe it to be true but life as a believer is so much richer and fulfilling than before. I continue to learn and grow my relationship with Christ each day. It takes time, work, and most of all - it takes a leap of faith. It would have been wonderful to have gotten to this place without the aid of a cancer diagnosis, but I am grateful nonetheless to have finally gotten here. It's never too late. Praise God, it's never ever too late.
The first Bible verse handed to me to reflect upon after I was diagnosed the summer of '09 was Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." It's become one of my absolute favorites and has helped me through this journey. My friend and neighbor, Cindy, gave it to me on an index card and it has been taped to a wall mirror near my bedside ever since. Thank you, Cindy! I know God placed Cindy in my life to help bring me back to Christ. I'm so grateful for that.
I didn't have a good relationship with God, going as far back as when I was a little kid when some really crappy stuff happened to me at the hands of someone that claimed to love me. I couldn't understand how God, if He existed, could let such a horrible thing happen to me or any other child. So, not surprisingly, I became an agnostic young adult. I went back and forth, wanting and needing God to exist and to be on my side but seeing so much pain, struggle made it difficult to trust Him and so I withdrew and became more and more skeptical. I didn't stop praying completely, but I stopped believing it was helping so the prayers become fewer and fewer until finally I found myself one day watching Bill Maher's "Religulous" movie and actually agreeing with most of it just a few years ago when it came out. Wow.
Things began to change after I got married. Poor Bob, bless his heart, thought we were on the same page with this religion stuff. Anyway, we wanted to start a family and I was sure that our advanced age (him being over 50 and me being over 35 at the time) that we may find ourselves unable to do so. I decided to pray. Three weeks later I was pregnant. I figured it was a coincidence since I used a high-tech ovulation predictor to help time things. But at 16 weeks into the pregnancy I was rushed to surgery when it was discovered my cervix was "incompetent" and I nearly lost the baby. Again, I prayed and prayed and prayed, thinking it was a long shot but I didn't want to take the chance because I really wanted and loved this baby. And, even though it was still a long haul after that, including 19 weeks of strict bed rest and nightly prayers asking God to protect my baby from harm, our precious Cooper was born healthy (except for reflux). Hmmm...maybe it was the prayers. Maybe it was just that I followed doc's orders.
Eleven months later I was diagnosed with stage 3c triple negative breast cancer. Found it accidentally after having a highly emotional reaction to my friend and colleague's news that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer just a week before. I had been checked by my doctor every couple months through my pregnancy and every few months after Cooper was born and no suspicious lumps were ever found. You may recall that I went to get a mammogram after feeling a small bump that turned out to be nothing (on the non-cancer side) and that while there for the mammogram the cancer was detected on the other side. A total fluke? Or, was a higher power leading me to make this discovery? Or something else? I know that I sure was lucky to discover it when we did, giving me a more time here on earth to be a mother to my precious young son.
As I began treatment, something in me was quickly evolving. I was seeing life through a new lens - a lens of faith and determination. I started seeing miracles occurring in my life every.single.day. Little things and big things. I couldn't help but think that only God could be responsible for the grace I was experiencing. The more I noticed, the more I prayed. And while not every prayer is answered the way I may have hoped, I believe they have all been answered in some way. And, when I was compelled to find a church where I could explore and develop my new relationship with God, I was led to the most wonderful church in my area, NorthPark Community Church. There I have learned so much in such a short time. I became born again on January 24, 2010 when I was re-baptized, and my faith has been instrumental in my treatment, healing and recovery from stage 3 breast cancer.
I have an uber-long list of examples of the many miracles I've witnessed that have led me to this new place I am in with my faith in God, and someday I will document them and share details. But for now, I just wanted to share that faith really matters, even to this stubborn gal who previously lacked it. And, if you are skeptical or are just the type of person that needs more "evidence", then read and consider the following article about a study revealing the impact of faith and liver transplant survival. This is just one example of many that are out there.
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Transplantation/LiverTransplantation/22530
I believe in the power of prayer. I've seen it work to heal and protect many, including me and my son.
Close family and friends know that my life today barely resembles my life before cancer, largely because of my renewed faith. I never thought I'd say it or believe it to be true but life as a believer is so much richer and fulfilling than before. I continue to learn and grow my relationship with Christ each day. It takes time, work, and most of all - it takes a leap of faith. It would have been wonderful to have gotten to this place without the aid of a cancer diagnosis, but I am grateful nonetheless to have finally gotten here. It's never too late. Praise God, it's never ever too late.
The first Bible verse handed to me to reflect upon after I was diagnosed the summer of '09 was Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." It's become one of my absolute favorites and has helped me through this journey. My friend and neighbor, Cindy, gave it to me on an index card and it has been taped to a wall mirror near my bedside ever since. Thank you, Cindy! I know God placed Cindy in my life to help bring me back to Christ. I'm so grateful for that.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Please vote for our video!
I joined up with two other breast cancer survivors and lifelong friends to create this entry in the Feel Your Boobies video contest. Please view it and vote for us. We will be launching the Pink Wig Dance soon and we hope you find this as fun and entertaining as we did while we wait for the PWD launch.
PLEASE VOTE FOR US!!
http://youboob.feelyourboobies.com/contests/showentry/462878
Thank you!!!
Love and blessings,
Julie
PLEASE VOTE FOR US!!
http://youboob.feelyourboobies.com/contests/showentry/462878
Thank you!!!
Love and blessings,
Julie
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