I hope and pray you got my text so you'll see this message. We met just over an hour ago in the parking lot. We both know it was no accident. When you got dressed this morning and chose your shirt, you probably didn't know it was all part of the grand plan to bring us together today :)
I know it can be hard to believe, particularly at a time like this, but what I told you today was a message meant for you at that exact moment and that exact place. And what you told me, about never having been a certain place ever before, was a message meant for me at that exact moment and that exact place. I believe that with all my heart.
This is a turning point for you. I'll be praying for you - that God will infuse you with His wisdom, His healing light and love, and show you the path He wants you to walk.
Please keep in touch, my new friend. And, if you lose my contact info and need or want to reach me, you can always call over to the NorthPark Community Church and ask them for my number.
Hugs and blessings to you! xoxo
Julie
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
3 Years!
years
TRIUMPH
5/28/09 - dx'd
6/12/09 - bilateral mastectomy
7/14/09 - chemo began
12/15/09 - 12th and final chemo infusion
2/1/10 - first clean scan with no evidence of disease
2/4/10 - 3/19/10 - 33 radiation treatments
5/18/10 - oophorectomy/hysterectomy
stopped counting surgeries after #7 for
reconstruction and lumpectomies (benign)
numerous MRIs, PETs, CTs
quarterly bloodwork and infusions
lymphedema
BORN AGAIN 1/24/10
AMAZING SUPPORT NETWORK OF
FAMILY, FRIENDS, CAREGIVERS
BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE
PRAISE THE LORD!
Dear warrior sisters,
Don't give up. Trust in the Lord. He has a magnificent purpose for your life. Ask Him, and listen for His answers. Be an instrument for Him and all else will fall into its rightful place.
With love, and gratitude for every breath I take,
Julie
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Turning points - we've all got 'em
We all have them. Moments in time where something changes. Maybe everything changes. Or, maybe it just seems like it has or will. We probably have thousands of them throughout our lives. I wonder how many I've had but didn't recognize. I know I've had some monumental ones that I not only recognize but will never forget. Not ever. Marrying the love of my life, welcoming Cooper into our family, being diagnosed with breast cancer, and becoming born again in Christ - just to name a few.
Last month I was invited to take part in a project called Turning Point. It's a photo shoot and collection of stories of breast cancer survivors. The project is headed up by a talented local photographer, Tibor Deme, and Terry Bucknall, director of the Sheila R. Veloz Breast Imaging Center in Valencia, CA (where my breast cancer was found and confirmed).
Tibor describes this project on his site by stating: "I will relentlessly pursue the desired effects that the pictures will convey their strengths, will, anger, pain, sadness, triumph, etc. I want the cannons from their battle heard and the celebratory fireworks shared and seen by many near and far. Let the individual stories and portraits contained within be their pillars of strength and motivation so they have the will to fight on! I want our warriors to know that with mind over matter, and a “never give up” attitude, they, too, can be victorious over cancer!"
The images will be displayed in a photography show and proceeds will fund breast cancer treatment for women who do not have health insurance. They will also be included in a published book.
Thank you, Tibor and Terry, for including me in this project. I'm honored that I could be a part of it. I love all the images. They show the raw, natural me. In pre-cancer days I might have been disappointed to see my wrinkles and war-tattered skin and hair in print but today I know that the aggressive treatment that I had to endure aged me and and while I'd love to look younger and thinner like anyone else would love to too, I also love me as I am - the real deal - God-made and God-saved.
The following images from the photo shoot are my favorites. If you are a breast cancer survivor in the Los Angeles area and would like to participate in this powerful project, please contact Tibor and Terry at turningpoint@tibordeme.com.
-32.jpg)
-15.jpg)
-25.jpg)
Last month I was invited to take part in a project called Turning Point. It's a photo shoot and collection of stories of breast cancer survivors. The project is headed up by a talented local photographer, Tibor Deme, and Terry Bucknall, director of the Sheila R. Veloz Breast Imaging Center in Valencia, CA (where my breast cancer was found and confirmed).
Tibor describes this project on his site by stating: "I will relentlessly pursue the desired effects that the pictures will convey their strengths, will, anger, pain, sadness, triumph, etc. I want the cannons from their battle heard and the celebratory fireworks shared and seen by many near and far. Let the individual stories and portraits contained within be their pillars of strength and motivation so they have the will to fight on! I want our warriors to know that with mind over matter, and a “never give up” attitude, they, too, can be victorious over cancer!"
The images will be displayed in a photography show and proceeds will fund breast cancer treatment for women who do not have health insurance. They will also be included in a published book.
Thank you, Tibor and Terry, for including me in this project. I'm honored that I could be a part of it. I love all the images. They show the raw, natural me. In pre-cancer days I might have been disappointed to see my wrinkles and war-tattered skin and hair in print but today I know that the aggressive treatment that I had to endure aged me and and while I'd love to look younger and thinner like anyone else would love to too, I also love me as I am - the real deal - God-made and God-saved.
The following images from the photo shoot are my favorites. If you are a breast cancer survivor in the Los Angeles area and would like to participate in this powerful project, please contact Tibor and Terry at turningpoint@tibordeme.com.
-32.jpg)
-15.jpg)
-25.jpg)
May God bless you and all of your turning points, today and every day.
Love,
Julie
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Be vigilant! Know your body. Check yourself.
I have less than one percent breast tissue remaining since my bilateral mastectomy when my breast cancer journey began. However, that tiny percent of tissue is still at risk so I do monthly breast self exams every month. Truth be told, I do it a lot more frequently than that because the type of breast cancer I had (triple negative breast cancer), is very aggressive (grade 3) and grows incredibly fast.
Whether you've had breast cancer or not, if you value your life on earth in any way, I hope and pray you're being vigilant and getting to know your body well enough to know when you feel something that is new or suddenly different when conducting a self exam.
As a survivor, I don't take chances with anything unusual that I feel. Thankfully, all of the unusual lumps I've found thus far in my post-treatment phase have turned out benign but we've removed a few to have them tested to be sure. It happened in October and I had a lumpectomy. I found another lump shortly after Christmas and have had a ultrasound and a MRI to take a closer look and it appears to be the same type of benign mass that they removed in October but since the only way to be certain is to remove it, it will be taken out when I have a revision reconstructive surgery mid-March. The doctor is not concerned about waiting until then since that's just 6 weeks away and the MRI results indicate a benign finding - praise the Lord!
Each time I feel something like that I go through a battery of visits and tests to figure out what it is and while that is annoyingly inconvenient and expensive, it is a necessity to ensure I continue to dance with NED (no evidence of disease). It's a small price to pay for longevity and I'm willing to pay it.
Friends, please be vigilant with your health. Don't ignore signs of trouble. Don't delay, forget about or willingly choose not to perform critical self exams. You are loved and you have a purpose here on earth so please don't contribute to cutting your own time on earth short. If you haven't done a self exam in a while - do it now. Please.
Here are some links that provide instructions on performing a thorough breast self exam --
May God light your path wherever you go, bringing you peace, joy and love. May He heal your body, heart and mind of all that ails you, restoring you to who you are meant to be. Be kind to yourself.
Love,
Julie
Whether you've had breast cancer or not, if you value your life on earth in any way, I hope and pray you're being vigilant and getting to know your body well enough to know when you feel something that is new or suddenly different when conducting a self exam.
As a survivor, I don't take chances with anything unusual that I feel. Thankfully, all of the unusual lumps I've found thus far in my post-treatment phase have turned out benign but we've removed a few to have them tested to be sure. It happened in October and I had a lumpectomy. I found another lump shortly after Christmas and have had a ultrasound and a MRI to take a closer look and it appears to be the same type of benign mass that they removed in October but since the only way to be certain is to remove it, it will be taken out when I have a revision reconstructive surgery mid-March. The doctor is not concerned about waiting until then since that's just 6 weeks away and the MRI results indicate a benign finding - praise the Lord!
Each time I feel something like that I go through a battery of visits and tests to figure out what it is and while that is annoyingly inconvenient and expensive, it is a necessity to ensure I continue to dance with NED (no evidence of disease). It's a small price to pay for longevity and I'm willing to pay it.
Friends, please be vigilant with your health. Don't ignore signs of trouble. Don't delay, forget about or willingly choose not to perform critical self exams. You are loved and you have a purpose here on earth so please don't contribute to cutting your own time on earth short. If you haven't done a self exam in a while - do it now. Please.
Here are some links that provide instructions on performing a thorough breast self exam --
May God light your path wherever you go, bringing you peace, joy and love. May He heal your body, heart and mind of all that ails you, restoring you to who you are meant to be. Be kind to yourself.
Love,
Julie
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Double whammy - strep & sinus infection!
It's been too long since my last post and I'm sorry I've been silent here. I have a post in draft but haven't been able to take the time to finish it. Thank you for the sweet reach-outs checking in on me - your care and concern mean so much to me. So here's a quick update.
It's been a very busy autumn; I've had lots of work projects, plus a fun new pink wig warrior project, for which I've been putting in lots of extra hours. I love the challenge and stimulation of these projects but I have not done a great job getting the rest and exercise I need to keep my immune system strong.
Cooper has been sick a couple of times and each time he's passed it on to me so I've been sick a couple of times all in the last few months. This current bout has been brutal. I've been in agonizing pain since Thursday night with a screaming sore throat, pounding head, aches and pains from head to foot, and a fever that just wouldn't quit. Friday morning at urgent care the doc said it was a virus but didn't test me for strep. Told me to go home and rest and keep up with the over the counter fever reducing pain meds.
I've been alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen around the clock, neither even touching the pain, so last night I broke out the "big guns" and dipped into the left over Percocet from my big surgery over the summer and THAT didn't even help! I've been in bed since Thursday night, only getting up to use the bathroom, grab some tea or a snack, or say good night to Cooper, or head to urgent care.
This morning I went back to urgent care since I wasn't getting better and couldn't find relief from the throat pain. The doc took a look at my throat and ears and said I have strep AND a sinus infection - didn't even need to test me. He called in a high dose antibiotic and a cough syrup with codeine. I hope these work quickly to get me feeling better because Bob has to go back to work soon and then I'll be juggling Cooper, the animals, and work all on my own again. He's been so wonderful - taking care of me and Cooper all week and weekend. I'm so blessed and lucky to have such a caring husband. Thank you, Bobby! xoxo
I sure hope and pray that I am feeling a lot better tomorrow and throughout the rest of the week. There's much left to do to finish up work commitments and prepare for Christmas next weekend. Our new treadmill (which Bob and I gave each other for Christmas) will arrive later this week and when it does I'll be incorporating daily exercise into my routine to get me back on track with diet and exercise efforts. Exercise is so important for reducing one's risk of recurrence and also for the immune system overall. Besides, my clothes don't fit! LOL I need to lose about 12 lbs before my next reconstructive surgery mid-March. More about that later.
Dear Lord, my healer, my redeemer, please heal my body quickly and effectively so that I may resume plans to celebrate and serve You. Please allow the medicine to quickly eliminate the infections and bring relief from the pain so that I may tend to my boy and my work with energy and joy. Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a caring and attentive husband and for giving him the patience and will to take such wonderful care of me and our son while I have been ill. I'm so grateful for your mercy and love. In Jesus' name, Amen.
It's been a very busy autumn; I've had lots of work projects, plus a fun new pink wig warrior project, for which I've been putting in lots of extra hours. I love the challenge and stimulation of these projects but I have not done a great job getting the rest and exercise I need to keep my immune system strong.
Cooper has been sick a couple of times and each time he's passed it on to me so I've been sick a couple of times all in the last few months. This current bout has been brutal. I've been in agonizing pain since Thursday night with a screaming sore throat, pounding head, aches and pains from head to foot, and a fever that just wouldn't quit. Friday morning at urgent care the doc said it was a virus but didn't test me for strep. Told me to go home and rest and keep up with the over the counter fever reducing pain meds.
I've been alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen around the clock, neither even touching the pain, so last night I broke out the "big guns" and dipped into the left over Percocet from my big surgery over the summer and THAT didn't even help! I've been in bed since Thursday night, only getting up to use the bathroom, grab some tea or a snack, or say good night to Cooper, or head to urgent care.
This morning I went back to urgent care since I wasn't getting better and couldn't find relief from the throat pain. The doc took a look at my throat and ears and said I have strep AND a sinus infection - didn't even need to test me. He called in a high dose antibiotic and a cough syrup with codeine. I hope these work quickly to get me feeling better because Bob has to go back to work soon and then I'll be juggling Cooper, the animals, and work all on my own again. He's been so wonderful - taking care of me and Cooper all week and weekend. I'm so blessed and lucky to have such a caring husband. Thank you, Bobby! xoxo
I sure hope and pray that I am feeling a lot better tomorrow and throughout the rest of the week. There's much left to do to finish up work commitments and prepare for Christmas next weekend. Our new treadmill (which Bob and I gave each other for Christmas) will arrive later this week and when it does I'll be incorporating daily exercise into my routine to get me back on track with diet and exercise efforts. Exercise is so important for reducing one's risk of recurrence and also for the immune system overall. Besides, my clothes don't fit! LOL I need to lose about 12 lbs before my next reconstructive surgery mid-March. More about that later.
Dear Lord, my healer, my redeemer, please heal my body quickly and effectively so that I may resume plans to celebrate and serve You. Please allow the medicine to quickly eliminate the infections and bring relief from the pain so that I may tend to my boy and my work with energy and joy. Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a caring and attentive husband and for giving him the patience and will to take such wonderful care of me and our son while I have been ill. I'm so grateful for your mercy and love. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Frequent surgery "flyer" miles, please!
All week long I was sure I was having surgery today. Last Friday it began at my check-up with the surgeon who performed my my bi-lateral mastectomy in 2009 - because last week I felt something suspicious in my left breast (details in previous post). When she said she wanted to take it out she said "how's next Friday for you?" so then Friday was on the brain. Her assistant later handed me a sheet of paper that had Thursday's date. I didn't notice that date corresponded with Thursday (not Friday). I got a call Wednesday morning from the UCLA surgery center to confirm my surgery for the following morning. "What?!" LOL I fumbled through my paperwork and there it was. Oops.
I checked in with the surgery center earlier than my call time because lately L.A. traffic has been worse than usual and I nearly missed my biopsy appointment on Monday due to awful traffic (a 30 mile drive took me 2 hours!). They took me in right away though and my surgeon was ready to go so I got to get in quickly, not before asking the check-in clerk to credit me with some "frequent flyer" points. OK OK so they don't award those but she smiled and replied "sorry, we're fresh out of those today."
In pre-op, I did the usual and tried my best to make everyone laugh and smile. I firmly believe that surgery goes smoothly and we're set up to be surrounded by the best possible energy when we connect with our care providers in a positive way. I have had umpteen surgeries in the past two+ years on this journey and my blog followers know it's paid off for me so I'm sticking with that philosophy. :)
It was a quick surgery, one hour, followed by an hour of recovery. I had general anesthesia for this lumpectomy. By the way, I never imagined I'd have a lumpectomy once I had a bilateral mastectomy over 2 years ago. However, it's an important reminder to all that even mastectomy surgery can not remove ALL breast tissue and about 1% is left behind. And, if you have reconstruction involving transplanted tissue (fat) like I had in June, that tissue also needs to be examined for abnormalities as well.
When I woke up, my surgeon informed me she is 99.9% sure that the benign biopsy results will be confirmed by pathology now that she's seen and removed the lumps. She said she's sure it was fat necrosis (dead fat) which makes sense given the timing and nature of my last surgery.
I was actually able to walk out of the hospital (first time I've done that after all the many surgeries I've had) on my own without a wheelchair assist and Bob drove me straight to Starbucks, followed by Whole Foods, so I could get my organic soy latte and something from WF's gourmet hot bar for lunch. I'm so blessed that anesthesia doesn't make me sick to my stomach and I can eat right away. :) Amazing blessing that is!
I'm home recovering well. No major pain. Just a little sore and tired. I'll be at church on Sunday and back to work on Monday. God is sooooo good!
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes!
Oh, and one other thing -- Bob surprised me this morning with the news that he nominated me and I was chosen as a finalist for an incredible survivor victory challenge contest!!! I'm one in three finalists! Will you please consider voting for me (by midnight Monday - winner to be announced on Monday)? Here's the link:
Please click here to vote for me in the Otterbox Survivor Victory Challenge
Thank you so much - and please, if you're inclined to do so, I'd appreciate you passing the link along. Our house and morale could use the TLC after two years of focusing our energy and time elsewhere (obviously).
Love and blessings,
Julie
I checked in with the surgery center earlier than my call time because lately L.A. traffic has been worse than usual and I nearly missed my biopsy appointment on Monday due to awful traffic (a 30 mile drive took me 2 hours!). They took me in right away though and my surgeon was ready to go so I got to get in quickly, not before asking the check-in clerk to credit me with some "frequent flyer" points. OK OK so they don't award those but she smiled and replied "sorry, we're fresh out of those today."
In pre-op, I did the usual and tried my best to make everyone laugh and smile. I firmly believe that surgery goes smoothly and we're set up to be surrounded by the best possible energy when we connect with our care providers in a positive way. I have had umpteen surgeries in the past two+ years on this journey and my blog followers know it's paid off for me so I'm sticking with that philosophy. :)
It was a quick surgery, one hour, followed by an hour of recovery. I had general anesthesia for this lumpectomy. By the way, I never imagined I'd have a lumpectomy once I had a bilateral mastectomy over 2 years ago. However, it's an important reminder to all that even mastectomy surgery can not remove ALL breast tissue and about 1% is left behind. And, if you have reconstruction involving transplanted tissue (fat) like I had in June, that tissue also needs to be examined for abnormalities as well.
When I woke up, my surgeon informed me she is 99.9% sure that the benign biopsy results will be confirmed by pathology now that she's seen and removed the lumps. She said she's sure it was fat necrosis (dead fat) which makes sense given the timing and nature of my last surgery.
I was actually able to walk out of the hospital (first time I've done that after all the many surgeries I've had) on my own without a wheelchair assist and Bob drove me straight to Starbucks, followed by Whole Foods, so I could get my organic soy latte and something from WF's gourmet hot bar for lunch. I'm so blessed that anesthesia doesn't make me sick to my stomach and I can eat right away. :) Amazing blessing that is!
I'm home recovering well. No major pain. Just a little sore and tired. I'll be at church on Sunday and back to work on Monday. God is sooooo good!
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes!
Oh, and one other thing -- Bob surprised me this morning with the news that he nominated me and I was chosen as a finalist for an incredible survivor victory challenge contest!!! I'm one in three finalists! Will you please consider voting for me (by midnight Monday - winner to be announced on Monday)? Here's the link:
Please click here to vote for me in the Otterbox Survivor Victory Challenge
Thank you so much - and please, if you're inclined to do so, I'd appreciate you passing the link along. Our house and morale could use the TLC after two years of focusing our energy and time elsewhere (obviously).
Love and blessings,
Julie
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
BENIGN!!!
My new favorite word: BENIGN
My surgeon called this evening with the biopsy results: "Julie, I have very good news - it is scar tissue." That's when I fell to my knees and sobbed tears of joy and praised God aloud over and over. Doc heard me crying and must have thought I misunderstood her as she reiterated that it was good news haha and I told her I was so happy I was crying out of sheer joy.
With that news out of the way she reminded me that we still need to take it out so it's not left there to turn into something else which apparently can and does happen. Surgery is still on for Friday morning. Fine by me.
Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes, making me feel so loved and cared for no matter what the outcome was going to be. God is so good, blessing me with such amazing friends and family. I'm incredibly grateful.
Remission continues! =) Praise God! What a relief that the remission clock doesn't need to be reset.
Like my three year old son, Cooper, has taken to saying lately "that was a close one!" and "ay ya ya ya ya!" ;) When he saw me crying while laughing tonight he said "Mommy, you're funny, I love you." I love you too, Cooper - more than you could ever know!
Dear Lord, my creator and ultimate healer, I praise and thank you for the countless "second chances" you bless me with. My gratitude is immeasurable and my love for you infallible. You brought me back from the brink not just once, but many times and you work through me in ways I never imagined possible. Lord, I ask you to wrap my warrior sisters in your healing light and love - take away their pain and fear and instill a sense of peace and confidence that Your will shall reign for the greater good and that You will provide comfort and healing of all that ails and troubles them. Lord, I ask you to bring forward the cure for the wretched disease of cancer that plagues us. Show us the way to eliminate the toxins and dangers brought about by greed, selfishness and other evils that Satan thrusts upon us with the false promise of empty "wealth" and "convenience". Lord, use us survivors to spread your good news and to help our sisters through this difficult trial in their life and show them how they're loved and valued the way I have been loved and valued through my journey. Help us to keep paying it forward, Lord, delivering hope, laughter, and faith in Your name. In your son, Jesus' name, Amen.
My surgeon called this evening with the biopsy results: "Julie, I have very good news - it is scar tissue." That's when I fell to my knees and sobbed tears of joy and praised God aloud over and over. Doc heard me crying and must have thought I misunderstood her as she reiterated that it was good news haha and I told her I was so happy I was crying out of sheer joy.
With that news out of the way she reminded me that we still need to take it out so it's not left there to turn into something else which apparently can and does happen. Surgery is still on for Friday morning. Fine by me.
Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes, making me feel so loved and cared for no matter what the outcome was going to be. God is so good, blessing me with such amazing friends and family. I'm incredibly grateful.
Remission continues! =) Praise God! What a relief that the remission clock doesn't need to be reset.
Like my three year old son, Cooper, has taken to saying lately "that was a close one!" and "ay ya ya ya ya!" ;) When he saw me crying while laughing tonight he said "Mommy, you're funny, I love you." I love you too, Cooper - more than you could ever know!
Dear Lord, my creator and ultimate healer, I praise and thank you for the countless "second chances" you bless me with. My gratitude is immeasurable and my love for you infallible. You brought me back from the brink not just once, but many times and you work through me in ways I never imagined possible. Lord, I ask you to wrap my warrior sisters in your healing light and love - take away their pain and fear and instill a sense of peace and confidence that Your will shall reign for the greater good and that You will provide comfort and healing of all that ails and troubles them. Lord, I ask you to bring forward the cure for the wretched disease of cancer that plagues us. Show us the way to eliminate the toxins and dangers brought about by greed, selfishness and other evils that Satan thrusts upon us with the false promise of empty "wealth" and "convenience". Lord, use us survivors to spread your good news and to help our sisters through this difficult trial in their life and show them how they're loved and valued the way I have been loved and valued through my journey. Help us to keep paying it forward, Lord, delivering hope, laughter, and faith in Your name. In your son, Jesus' name, Amen.
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