The Gift of Quiet

When I was in chemo, my most common challenges were fatigue and heightened sensitivity to noise. My son was a year old and my spouse was away frequently as a normal part of his job and there were many many days that I didn't know how I would possibly keep my eyes open and fulfill all my basic responsibilities as a mom - even with a sitter during the weekdays, the evenings and weekends were quite a challenge.

It was hugely helpful when friends and neighbors stopped by to take my son for a walk or a few hours of play time at their house so I could rest in silence.

If you can give the gift of quiet time to a friend or family member in cancer treatment, it will be so appreciated and never forgotten. Don't just offer...show up with a plan and follow through. Thank you to all my amazing friends who gave me the gift of quiet rest time! Xoxo

Love and blessings,
Julie

Luke 6:38

Caregivers Need Support Too

Just before I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, I observed the 11-year anniversary of the cancer death of a dear friend and 'significant other' (the word 'boyfriend' never really fit since we were adults).  David was a vibrant, athletic, brilliant, outgoing, and passionate 44 year old who inspired just about everyone he met.  He inspired me so much when we were first colleagues and later became friends, because he was living life so fully all of the time.  By the time he was 40 he had already changed careers several times to follow his dreams of trying different paths.  He was a sheriff's deputy, an attorney, an investment broker, just to name a few.  David dabbled in speed (ice) skating, running, basketball, even gardening!  His personality was magnetic. He remembered names and events and everyone that he interacted with felt like they were the only person in sight because he made everyone feel special. Even while in his third year of perpetual chemotherapy treatment for stage 4 cancer, David was busy making everyone else feel good. 

During a brief visit with him the winter of 1997, I was so moved by David's spirit and love for life that I left my life in Boston and moved across the country to be near him in his final months of life.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I took on the role as a member of his caregiver team but I didn't care.  Back then, the internet was pretty new and there wasn't a tremendous amount of information available the way there is today.  Once in California,  I found an online support message board for cancer caregivers. A God-send since I quickly learned that the role of caregiver is as stressful and frightening as the role of patient.

Caregivers (family members, friends, neighbors) take on their role suddenly, unexpectedly, involuntarily, and with no training. In today's typical outpatient cancer treatment delivery model, the caregiver is the traffic cop for patients, navigating doctors' visits and treatment plans as an advocate and often home "nurse", serving as the patient's gatekeeper managing social visitors and helpers, performing and delegating household chores, interpreting and confronting insurance processes and decisions, and much more.  All the while, they're faced with their own worries, fears, and frustrations, feeling helpless and unequipped for their new job in addition to juggling their own personal and professional obligations.  Even secondary caregivers - helpers, friends, and family members on the periphery - struggle with how to talk to or help their loved one after a cancer diagnosis. It's a tremendous stressor and often caregivers' needs are overlooked.

Caregivers suffer profoundly - emotionally and physically.  If you are a caregiver, your fears, pain, worry and frustration are real and valid. You need to be cared for too, even if you don't think so.  Not even the patient can understand how a caregiver suffers, unless they've been in that role themselves.

Since I've been both the caregiver and the patient I'll be posting about some topics from both perspectives over the next few months. I hope to provide helpful information to demonstrate to caregivers and patients alike that both roles are stressful and difficult but there are lots of resources for both. Meantime, if you're a patient please remember that your caregivers are hurting too and sometimes they need an extra hug and a thank-you, just like you need some extra grace and love during this stressful time.

I welcome your input, suggestions and questions along the way. Do you have specific questions you'd like me to answer? Would you like to share your story as a caregiver or a patient as a guest on my blog? Email me at organicfaith@ca.rr.com.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Ever since I began my cancer journey, I took on an attitude of gratitude like never before. I've always known how fortunate I have been through out my life, in spite of my own personal trials (of which there have been PLENTY), but it never hit me so fully as when I realized just how precious of a gift every day is. I thank God and my savior, Jesus Christ, every day for the countless blessings I have received and continue to receive.

Like anyone, I certainly have my moments when gratitude isn't emanating from me (who doesn't!?), but the Lord sends amazing messages to remind me of who I am, where I've been, how far I've come, and where I will always be so long as I hold fast to Him. 

This month, I've joined many friends who pause each day to reflect on something that I'm thankful for, and posted it to my Facebook page.  At the end of the month, I'll post all of my thankful posts here to the blog.  Some days I'm thankful for very simple things, whereas others my thoughts and thanks are directed to heftier things/topics. It's a great exercise that is helping me get my attitude of gratitude on each day.  What I know for certain is that I have so much to be thankful for - salvation through Christ, health, family, employment, friends, and soooo much more.

What are you thankful for today?  I'd love to hear from you.    

Love and blessings,
Julie

^{Colossians 3:15-17}
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 

When was the last time...

...you felt your bumps for lumps? If it has been more than a month, please take 5 minutes now to do it. Not sure how to do it? Don't worry, many women don't know how...but it's critical you learn or refresh your memory of the proper procedure. 

Here are some links to instructions that are easy to follow. Please, do it now. And, don't forget to check under your arms.

The Five Steps of a Breast Self Exam by BreastCancer.org

Breast Self Exam info by the American Cancer Society

National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.'s 3 Simple Steps

May your days and nights be filled with God's blessings, mercy, and love. May you see your trials as blessings in disguise, as part of His greater plan for your amazing life. May His purpose be revealed to you and your courage and obedience be plentiful. His plans are always better than our own...especially when we listen and follow.

Love and hugs,

Julie

Sisterhood

A bond like no other. I'm so grateful for my sister warriors and their friendship. Tonight we got together in the old lunch spot we often went to after our support group meetings. Can you believe this - just 2.5 years separate these photos. Thank you, Lord, for keeping us safe. These women mean so much to me. Sisters forever. I love you, Jess and Tira!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 (NIV)

Zofran warning!

This week there was breaking news about a new risk found with Zofran, the anti-nausea med often prescribed to pregnant moms, children, and chemo patients.  


http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/Chemotherapy/33556


Praying that none of us experiences any dangerous effects from taking it.


Love and blessings,
Julie

Dear Lisa Who Won't Be Ignored

I hope and pray you got my text so you'll see this message.  We met just over an hour ago in the parking lot. We both know it was no accident. When you got dressed this morning and chose your shirt, you probably didn't know it was all part of the grand plan to bring us together today :)


I know it can be hard to believe, particularly at a time like this, but what I told you today was a message meant for you at that exact moment and that exact place.   And what you told me, about never having been a certain place ever before, was a message meant for me at that exact moment and that exact place. I believe that with all my heart.


This is a turning point for you.  I'll be praying for you - that God will infuse you with His wisdom, His healing light and love, and show you the path He wants you to walk.


Please keep in touch, my new friend. And, if you lose my contact info and need or want to reach me, you can always call over to the NorthPark Community Church and ask them for my number.  


Hugs and blessings to you! xoxo 
Julie

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10