It's a big deal

It's a bigger deal than I thought. In May I was going to get nipples constructed and have my port removed during same visit as the hysterectomy. But the plan changed when the lymphedema swelling resulted in one breast being larger than the other so instead it became implant swap out, minor revisions for symmetry, and hysterectomy/oopherectomy and keep the port til the next surgery so I could use it for another zometa infusion.I was relieved even though the port gets in the way sometimes when trying to cuddle with Cooper and he presses on it or puts his head on it and that hurts or when the line up into my neck gets irritating and causes swelling which looks and feels like a swollen neck node on that side, causing me to panic even though Dr.B says it's ok.

This thing has been an incredible blessing - helping me painlessly (mostly) endure countless blood draws and 12 chemo infusions and 2 zometa infusions, and even used it in my two recent surgeries to get me asleep without discomfort. It has spared my arm veins from being mangled at a time when they would be vulnerable (chemo) and helped me protect my arms especially the left one with lymphedema since it can be poked (too risky for infection and swelling danger).

I've had two clean PET scans since finishing chemo - Feb.1st and Sept.7th so now it is time to say goodbye to my port. Praise God, I don't need it anymore! Every time I say, think or type that I begin to cry. Joyful tears. Maybe some nervous tears mixed in too.

Tomorrow morning I go back in for nipple construction surgery and the port will come out and the scar revised to clean it up (it's ugly/angry looking). As I was getting ready for bed tonight it finally hit me. I'm done (with cancer). Treatment is done (minus the zometa bone protection I will get quarterly for 2.5 more years, the quarterly blood draws and follow ups and of course the nipple tattoos as the final step in reconstruction).
I really am a survivor! From stage 3c to "cancer-free" in 15 months. Wow. Praise God!

I am living proof of the Lord's power and miracles. He woke me up and set me straight and I am listening (and learning). He showed me His work in my life daily through this journey (and ongoing) - with the most amazing support network (you included), the most loving and supportive husband so certain of my complete cure and healing, brilliant and compassionate physicians, nurses, administrators (except for a couple - remember my first attempt to get a port!?), a generous and caring mother and father who came to help whenever I asked...an incredibly supportive employer and team at work who patiently and generously gave me the time I needed to get well without the fear of losing my job or health coverage. The exact right caregivers at the exact right time for my precious Cooper. A bearable (albeit challenging) course of treatment with limited and tolerable side effects. My many friends, family and colleagues who wrote, called and sent generous thoughtful gifts to cheer me up and donations to fund breast cancer research in honor of me! Awesome neighborhood friends who checked in on me, brought meals, helped with Cooper and the dog, and kept me company when being alone was unbearable while Bob was working. God led me to my new church home and family a year ago where my faith in God and mankind has been restored and raised to levels I didn't know were possible. And, of course, He brought me to the bravest, most beautiful warrior sister survivors with whom I share an unbreakable bond for life.

These are the works of an almighty, merciful, forgiving and instructional God who has transformed me and I believe is using me and I am so amazed, so blessed, so grateful. Thank you, Father, for these blessed gifts. I am humbled, grateful and determined to become worthy of them. Please continue to use me, Father, to spread the good news and glorify you in my thoughts and actions. Guide me, Lord, and help me to not stray. Forgive me, Lord, when I do stumble as I often do. Take my worries and fears, Lord, and help me live beyond my own abilities and fulfill your will for my life. Thank you, Father, for your healing and your mercy for me and so many others.

Lord, please wrap my friends Michelle, Theresa, Tracie, Tonya, and Sue in your love and light. Infuse their bodies with healthy fighter cells and medical ammunition to destroy and eliminate the cancer that has taken residence in them. Give them continued strength, hope and faith in your promise and word and bring about complete cure and healing as I know you have big plans for these warriors here on earth.

God, please hurry and show us the cure for all cancers.

This, I pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Faithfully,
Julie

Time for a PET/CT scan: praying for N.E.D.

Well, it's time to see what's going on. They call it a "re-staging" scan. I go in first thing in the morning - scheduled to arrive at 6:30 am pacific time. I've been preparing for it today - no carbs, no caffeine, no strenuous activity, and no extreme temp exposure. I don't eat much sugar anymore anyway - that's been my new life since diagnosis. But being without any carbs is a major challenge for me since I eat so many veggies and fruits every day to help boost my body's natural immunity. I also typically drink green tea all day long - hot and cold. Not today. Only water and protein with only a small amount of low-starch veggies. No food allowed after midnight - no problem since I plan to be in bed by 9:30 pm. The reason for all the restrictions is that the PET/CT scan (when used in oncology) looks for groups of cells consuming high amounts of radioactive glucose (which they'll inject in me an hour before the scan) because cancer devours glucose (yup, lay off the sweets folks!). Apparently, excessive temp exposure and physical activity can cause muscular uptake of glucose that's stored in the body - I think that's what they said. The restrictions are a bit of an annoyance but they help get a more accurate test result so it's worth it. The way I see it (my selfish self) - the only acceptable report/outcome from this test would be one that indicates No Evidence of Disease. But, I don't get to call the shots in this epic - only God does. So, I'm laying it on Him - I'm trusting Him to use me for His purpose now. I surely hope and pray that His purpose for me is to spend the next 30+ years as a cancer patient advocate, educator, author, and speaker - and at the top of my list is being earthly mommy to my precious Cooper. I don't know how quickly I'll get the results but I'll be spending lots of time/energy praying and meditating between now and when they come in. Thank you for adding your prayers to mine. I really appreciate it. Love, Julie PS - Hey cancer, seriously, if you know what's good for you - you'll have taken your surgical and chemo eviction notices seriously. Just for good measure we're gonna nuke your butt into oblivion with radiation starting this week!

Chemo cycle 7, part a - received :)

I forgot to post that I did indeed receive chemo cycle #7, part a, on Tuesday. My counts were great - WBC up to 7.3 - hasn't been that high since the very first couple of treatments. Platelets were over 250 and in the normal range, and the other numbers all looked pretty good for a gal that's had 6 rounds of chemo already. I am a bit anemic so they're awaiting insurance approval to give me a shot to remedy that and help me avoid a transfusion for that craziness. Speaking of insurance, mine has finally given in and paid for that breast MRI they were challenging. Lucky for them because the wrath of Julie is...well, they didn't want to go there haha. So I'm on day 2 of this cycle and here's how it's going so far...queasy but not horrible thanks to the anti-nausea meds which are taking the edge off - well that and ginger ale and toast. As has been the case previously, the first day of neupogen (today) brings forth a flush red tone over my face and neck. In the early cycles I thought this was due to the steroids and they did too...but it seems it's actually from the neulasta (back then) and the neupogen (now). I have the tell-tale bone pain back too - centralized in my skull, producing a headache and achy neck. Taking tylenol helped but not quite as much as an Advil or Aleve would do but I'm avoiding those drugs b/c of their effect on platelets since I have to have good numbers again next Tuesday to get part b of the chemo. I'm achy all over - back, neck, legs, arms - doc said that's typical for those that have been on chemo this long or longer. I'm OK with all of this - kind of makes me feel like it's working and doing its job. I'm not complaining at all. As I near the end of the chemo part of my journey, with just 1.5 cycles left, I am excited and nervous too. Excited to be another step closer to being done with cancer, but nervous and terrified that going off chemo would make me vulnerable again - it makes me feel protected right now. I'll need to work through that. The nerves are really working at regenerating under my armpits and while I welcome the return of some feeling - especially the left side where the numbness is insane from the lymph node dissection - the sharp pains and itchiness this process brings is not fun and makes me nervous. That, combined with the freaky dream I had the other night about finding another lump under my arm, just is driving me batty sometimes. I catch myself feeling my armpits frequently and at random times in random places - like the grocery store. I must look like a total weirdo standing in the produce department with a bald head and my hand under my armpit feeling for lumps that damn well better not exist. LOL This is yet another thing I'll have to work through. sigh. I put it all in God's hands. He will cure me and make me well and allow me to live to see my son get married and give me grandchildren. I believe in Him. I praise Him every night for the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I know He has given me the fighting spirit, the will and the resources to be my own best advocate, and put me in this place and time so that I would have the best support, the best healthcare providers, and the will to live and beat this disease. He has a plan for me and I'm ready to fulfill it, whatever it may be.