Be vigilant! Know your body. Check yourself.

I have less than one percent breast tissue remaining since my bilateral mastectomy when my breast cancer journey began. However, that tiny percent of tissue is still at risk so I do monthly breast self exams every month. Truth be told, I do it a lot more frequently than that because the type of breast cancer I had (triple negative breast cancer), is very aggressive (grade 3) and grows incredibly fast.  


Whether you've had breast cancer or not, if you value your life on earth in any way, I hope and pray you're being vigilant and getting to know your body well enough to know when you feel something that is new or suddenly different when conducting a self exam.


As a survivor, I don't take chances with anything unusual that I feel. Thankfully, all of the unusual lumps I've found thus far in my post-treatment phase have turned out benign but we've removed a few to have them tested to be sure. It happened in October and I had a lumpectomy. I found another lump shortly after Christmas and have had a ultrasound and a MRI to take a closer look and it appears to be the same type of benign mass that they removed in October but since the only way to be certain is to remove it, it will be taken out when I have a revision reconstructive surgery mid-March. The doctor is not concerned about waiting until then since that's just 6 weeks away and the MRI results indicate a benign finding - praise the Lord!


Each time I feel something like that I go through a battery of visits and tests to figure out what it is and while that is annoyingly inconvenient and expensive, it is a necessity to ensure I continue to dance with NED (no evidence of disease). It's a small price to pay for longevity and I'm willing to pay it. 


Friends, please be vigilant with your health. Don't ignore signs of trouble. Don't delay, forget about or willingly choose not to perform critical self exams.  You are loved and you have a purpose here on earth so please don't contribute to cutting your own time on earth short.  If you haven't done a self exam in a while - do it now. Please.  


Here are some links that provide instructions on performing a thorough breast self exam --

American Cancer Society - Breast Self Exam

BreastCancer.org's 5 Steps to a Breast Self Exam

May God light your path wherever you go, bringing you peace, joy and love. May He heal your body, heart and mind of all that ails you, restoring you to who you are meant to be. Be kind to yourself.


Love,
Julie

Double whammy - strep & sinus infection!

It's been too long since my last post and I'm sorry I've been silent here. I have a post in draft but haven't been able to take the time to finish it.  Thank you for the sweet reach-outs checking in on me - your care and concern mean so much to me.  So here's a quick update.

It's been a very busy autumn;  I've had lots of work projects, plus a fun new pink wig warrior project, for which I've been putting in lots of extra hours. I love the challenge and stimulation of these projects but I have not done a great job getting the rest and exercise I need to keep my immune system strong.

Cooper has been sick a couple of times and each time he's passed it on to me so I've been sick a couple of times all in the last few months.  This current bout has been brutal.  I've been in agonizing pain since Thursday night with a screaming sore throat, pounding head, aches and pains from head to foot, and a fever that just wouldn't quit.  Friday morning at urgent care the doc said it was a virus but didn't test me for strep.  Told me to go home and rest and keep up with the over the counter fever reducing pain meds.

I've been alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen around the clock, neither even touching the pain, so last night I broke out the "big guns" and dipped into the left over Percocet from my big surgery over the summer and THAT didn't even help!  I've been in bed since Thursday night, only getting up to use the bathroom, grab some tea or a snack, or say good night to Cooper, or head to urgent care.

This morning I went back to urgent care since I wasn't getting better and couldn't find relief from the throat pain.  The doc took a look at my throat and ears and said I have strep AND a sinus infection - didn't even need to test me.  He called in a high dose antibiotic and a cough syrup with codeine.  I hope these work quickly to get me feeling better because Bob has to go back to work soon and then I'll be juggling Cooper, the animals, and work all on my own again.   He's been so wonderful - taking care of me and Cooper all week and weekend. I'm so blessed and lucky to have such a caring husband. Thank you, Bobby! xoxo

I sure hope and pray that I am feeling a lot better tomorrow and throughout the rest of the week. There's much left to do to finish up work commitments and prepare for Christmas next weekend.  Our new treadmill (which Bob and I gave each other for Christmas) will arrive later this week and when it does I'll be incorporating daily exercise into my routine to get me back on track with diet and exercise efforts. Exercise is so important for reducing one's risk of recurrence and also for the immune system overall.  Besides, my clothes don't fit! LOL I need to lose about 12 lbs before my next reconstructive surgery mid-March. More about that later.

Dear Lord, my healer, my redeemer, please heal my body quickly and effectively so that I may resume plans to celebrate and serve You.  Please allow the medicine to quickly eliminate the infections and bring relief from the pain so that I may tend to my boy and my work with energy and joy.  Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a caring and attentive husband and for giving him the patience and will to take such wonderful care of me and our son while I have been ill. I'm so grateful for your mercy and love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Frequent surgery "flyer" miles, please!

All week long I was sure I was having surgery today. Last Friday it began at my check-up with the surgeon who performed my my bi-lateral mastectomy in 2009 - because last week I felt something suspicious in my left breast (details in previous post).  When she said she wanted to take it out she said "how's next Friday for you?" so then Friday was on the brain.  Her assistant later handed me a sheet of paper that had Thursday's date. I didn't notice that date corresponded with Thursday (not Friday).  I got a call Wednesday morning from the UCLA surgery center to confirm my surgery for the following morning. "What?!" LOL  I fumbled through my paperwork and there it was. Oops.

I checked in with the surgery center earlier than my call time because lately L.A. traffic has been worse than usual and I nearly missed my biopsy appointment on Monday due to awful traffic (a 30 mile drive took me 2 hours!).  They took me in right away though and my surgeon was ready to go so I got to get in quickly, not before asking the check-in clerk to credit me with some "frequent flyer" points. OK OK so they don't award those but she smiled and replied "sorry, we're fresh out of those today."

In pre-op, I did the usual and tried my best to make everyone laugh and smile. I firmly believe that surgery goes smoothly and we're set up to be surrounded by the best possible energy when we connect with our care providers in a positive way. I have had umpteen surgeries in the past two+ years on this journey and my blog followers know it's paid off for me so I'm sticking with that philosophy. :)

It was a quick surgery, one hour, followed by an hour of recovery. I had general anesthesia for this lumpectomy.  By the way, I never imagined I'd have a lumpectomy once I had a bilateral mastectomy over 2 years ago.  However, it's an important reminder to all that even mastectomy surgery can not remove ALL breast tissue and about 1% is left behind. And, if you have reconstruction involving transplanted tissue (fat) like I had in June, that tissue also needs to be examined for abnormalities as well.

When I woke up, my surgeon informed me she is 99.9% sure that the benign biopsy results will be confirmed by pathology now that she's seen and removed the lumps. She said she's sure it was fat necrosis (dead fat) which makes sense given the timing and nature of my last surgery.

I was actually able to walk out of the hospital (first time I've done that after all the many surgeries I've had) on my own without a wheelchair assist and Bob drove me straight to Starbucks, followed by Whole Foods, so I could get my organic soy latte and something from WF's gourmet hot bar for lunch.  I'm so blessed that anesthesia doesn't make me sick to my stomach and I can eat right away. :)  Amazing blessing that is!

I'm home recovering well. No major pain. Just a little sore and tired.  I'll be at church on Sunday and back to work on Monday. God is sooooo good!

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes!

Oh, and one other thing -- Bob surprised me this morning with the news that he nominated me and I was chosen as a finalist for an incredible survivor victory challenge contest!!!  I'm one in three finalists!  Will you please consider voting for me (by midnight Monday - winner to be announced on Monday)?  Here's the link:

Please click here to vote for me in the Otterbox Survivor Victory Challenge

Thank you so much - and please, if you're inclined to do so, I'd appreciate you passing the link along.  Our house and morale could use the TLC after two years of focusing our energy and time elsewhere (obviously).

Love and blessings,
Julie

BENIGN!!!

My new favorite word: BENIGN

My surgeon called this evening with the biopsy results: "Julie, I have very good news - it is scar tissue."  That's when I fell to my knees and sobbed tears of joy and praised God aloud over and over. Doc heard me crying and must have thought I misunderstood her as she reiterated that it was good news haha and I told her I was so happy I was crying out of sheer joy. 

With that news out of the way she reminded me that we still need to take it out so it's not left there to turn into something else which apparently can and does happen.  Surgery is still on for Friday morning. Fine by me.

Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes, making me feel so loved and cared for no matter what the outcome was going to be. God is so good, blessing me with such amazing friends and family.  I'm incredibly grateful.

Remission continues! =) Praise God!  What a relief that the remission clock doesn't need to be reset. 

Like my three year old son, Cooper, has taken to saying lately "that was a close one!"  and "ay ya ya ya ya!" ;)  When he saw me crying while laughing tonight he said "Mommy, you're funny, I love you."  I love you too, Cooper - more than you could ever know!

Dear Lord, my creator and ultimate healer, I praise and thank you for the countless "second chances" you bless me with. My gratitude is immeasurable and my love for you infallible. You brought me back from the brink not just once, but many times and you work through me in ways I never imagined possible. Lord, I ask you to wrap my warrior sisters in your healing light and love - take away their pain and fear and instill a sense of peace and confidence that Your will shall reign for the greater good and that You will provide comfort and healing of all that ails and troubles them.  Lord, I ask you to bring forward the cure for the wretched disease of cancer that plagues us. Show us the way to eliminate the toxins and dangers brought about by greed, selfishness and other evils that Satan thrusts upon us with the false promise of empty "wealth" and "convenience".  Lord, use us survivors to spread your good news and to help our sisters through this difficult trial in their life and show them how they're loved and valued the way I have been loved and valued through my journey. Help us to keep paying it forward, Lord, delivering hope, laughter, and faith in Your name.  In your son, Jesus' name, Amen.

Blessed, and dreaded, fear

Breast cancer: the "gift" that keeps on giving. Whether it's treatment side effects, surgical scars, or the emotional roller coaster without end - the fear comes and then goes and then comes 'round again.  I can't say that I've had a day where I haven't thought about it - not yet.  It would be nice to not think about it but I doubt that day will ever come, and perhaps that is as much a blessing as a curse.

For now, it mostly is there in the back of my mind and comes into the forefront when I have a nasty hot flash or when my arm swells and feels gunky from the lymphedema. The flashes had begun to really slow down until I was on vacation in the hot and humid Florida sun and enjoying a refreshing beverage each night (wine, beer or margarita) and before getting half way through a single drink I was breaking out into an intense wave of heat and sweat reminiscent of the early days of surgically-induced menopause (read: BRUTAL).  So there it is - alcohol is a major trigger for my hot flashes. It's a good thing I don't drink much or often.  The high heat and humidity also aggravate the lymphedema which really stinks since it also makes it unbearable to wear the compression sleeve that should help manage the amount of swelling in the arm.  I end up tearing it off for some fresh air relief. It was so hot all summer here in the Santa Clarita Valley of southern California that I hardly wore the sleeve at all and now my arm is a bit puffier than it should be so I'll need to get some of that intense therapy that requires it be bandaged up for 24 hours for a 2 week period. I'll wait till the weather is cooler though - it's still in the upper 80s here believe it or not.  I welcome the cooler weather, not the round the clock bandaging.

If it's not my own physiological reactions relating to treatment side effects and surgeries, there are reminders all around like things I can't do anymore - no more spa days since I can't go in a hot tub, sauna or steam room (aggravates lymphedema), and I learned this past week that I can't do the challenging spinning exercise classes since I can't put pressure on my arm/hand such as when the class is instructed to do stands or "jumps" or lean-ins that require a firm grasp and leaning with the arms and hands on the handle bars.  I'm not terribly sad about these lifestyle changes most of the time but as they arise they serve as reminders - reminders that at times are unwelcome moments of frustration but praise God that most of the time they are reminders of what I've overcome and that I'm still here, living life!

The blessing of the fear that pervades my consciousness is that it serves to remind me to cherish every moment, to live life to the fullest, to not sweat the small stuff. Even though I've been on this crazy ride, I seem to still need reminders often so I guess that's why I'm showered with them!

The fear of recurrence is the worst of all though. I try not to think about it but this week it took center stage as I returned to the UCLA Revlon Breast Center for a follow-up appointment and was faced with my surgical oncologist's different opinion from my medical oncologist's feeling about something I can feel in my left breast (which of course is mostly made up of belly fat at this point but I guess that tiny bit of breast tissue that's left behind after mastectomy still presents a risk).  I wanted her opinion but my heart sank when she quickly determined "it needs to come out".  Um, what?  Yup, whatever it is that we can feel needs to be biopsied and removed and biopsied again because the booby masher and ultrasound tests I endured shortly after hearing those words were "inconclusive".  Shoot. Crap. Boo!  Trick or treat?!  Blech!

Dear Lord, I submit to you my life for Your will. I lay my worry and fear at Your feet and trust in You. Please guide the physicians and nurses minds and hands to ensure accurate and clear results and provide for my safety and comfort while in their care. Please grant me acceptance and peace with whatever the outcome may be. But Lord, please let it be benign. Amen.

Cleared for take-off (exercise), ready-set-go!

I was finally cleared to resume normal activity and exercise since the big surgery. That was a couple weeks ago though and I have yet to break a sweat from anything other than cleaning the house. Yikes.  What in the world am I waiting for - studies show that regular exercise - elevating the heart rate for 30+ minutes 5 times per week - is the most important thing a cancer survivor can do to reduce the chances of a recurrence.

I've remained committed to eating healthy, consuming immune-boosting foods and supplements daily, but I've been remiss in ensuring I get enough sleep and exercise each day.  That needs to get fixed now.

Starting tonight, I need to commit to getting to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier and start each day with a sweat-breaking power walk with my little man.

Dear Lord, please help me to submit to your will and honor the body you have given me and have miraculously healed from the brink. Please grant me the wisdom to focus more productively during the day and early evening to get what needs to be done early enough, to help me avoid the temptation of Facebook and other sources of entertainment that keep me from achieving my important goals. Thank you, Lord for the countless blessings and miracles in my life - for giving me another day - for bringing me this far. Amen.

That shower was AMAZING

On my quest to allude my husband's understanding, I have stumped him once again with the proclamation that the shower I just took was better than a tropical vacation. No, really.  He still doesn't believe me.  I can't say I blame him since I'm the gal that loves camping and often pretends I'm camping at home by seeing how many days I can go without bathing. I'm not really gross, I'm just really busy LOL. It's not intentional, really. But, life happens and I have a 3 yr old and a spouse that's away most of the time and I work full time so my top 5 priorities don't include bathing. My apologies to those around me.

However, typically 3 days is my absolute limit. As in, on the third morning I can't stand the smell of my own self and just make sure a good scrubbing down occurs no matter what. I don't always wait till the third day - in fact, most of the time I shower every day (fear not, my colleagues LOL). Weekends, however....oh nevermind.

My point is this - after surgery I was not allowed to shower till those drains were out.  They finally came out yesterday, praise God!!  But, even though they were out, I had these gaping holes in my belly and my side that were screaming they needed till morning to plug up before being put under water.  So just now, I had the most AMAZING shower. I don't know how long I was in there but it's probably the longest shower I've ever taken.  When I shower usually I take like 5 minutes - I'm a mom! Get in, do your thing and get out and get going!  Today, not-so-fast!  I'm pretty sure I put that scrub puff to every millimeter of my body, scrubbing the grodiness and just loving every second of the water pounding on me. Oh, thank you Lord, for my big showerhead and organic body washes and hot water. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Oh, how long was it since my last shower, you ask?  10 days. Yeah, that's just gross. LOL