But I'm human. Fallen. Susceptible to the attempts by the enemy to cause fear and doubt. And believe me when I tell you that the devil is determined. That bastard creeps into my mind once in a while to wreak havok. I hate him. But he will never win because my life belongs to God.
Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed a piercing pain in the back of my head, always in the same place. Not constant but occasional and lasts long enough to make me sit down and worry. Perhaps I had these pre-BC, I don't remember. But I've been told by the most brilliant docs around that I should pay attention to my body, jot down timing of unusual pain/discomfort, and report it if it persists.
Yesterday I woke up with a major headache. The kind that is typical for allergies or a cold. No worries there other than where did I put that Tylenol. Within a few hours that piercing in the back returned. I sat down and suddenly remembered how a few months prior to my diagnosis and and a couple of times since I've had episodes of seeing illuminated spots like an aura - like an aura migraine only minus the migraine. Crap!
So I cried. And I cried. I couldn't help but think that the whore (cancer) must have invaded my brain. It was Friday night and none of my docs would be in their offices. Besides, iwe are leaving Sunday on a road trip so that we don't waste Bob's unmoveable vacation dates. More about the trip later. Anyway, even if doc would order a CT it won't happen til we get back. I refuse to let unknown fears rule my life.
So I prayed. Father God, please wrap your love and light around my body. Saturate me with it, from the inside out. Please take my worries and fears away so that I can carry on performing your will and purpose for my life. Thank you, God, for protecting me and carrying me out of darkness. I am yours. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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