Go platelets! Go platelets!

So I went to the cancer center this morning, prepared for disappointment. I had read online that although platelets can jump back quickly they probably don't go back over the 100 needed for chemo as quick as one week when you're as low as I was (26). WRONG! My platelets were 115 this morning! The prayers worked! Thank you!! What a huge relief that is - I was afraid not just to leave the house for fear of what could happen if I got into an accident or whatever, but I was afraid IN the house because I'm a bit of a clutz haha. While preparing dinner last night I was so nervous using a knife for fear of cutting myself while having such a low platelet count. But now I feel safe again haha. My WBC is lagging just a teensy tiny bit at 1.9 (was 2.3 last week, 1.4 the week prior). It generally needs to be over 2.0 to proceed with chemo. However, there's another number or two that they factor in and thanks to those other numbers, my 1.9 is good enough to move forward :). I forgot to ask what my iron level was but I'll find out tomorrow when I go back in for chemo. YUP, you heard that right - I'm getting back in for the God given liquid gold cure juice tomorrow! Woohoo!!! They're going to check my #s again in the morning for good measure but as of now, it's a go! :) I am thanking God, and I thank you all for your prayers! And, I'm drinking a lovely carrot/apple/pineapple juice mix today to help boost that WBC up a bit too ;). I'll post again tomorrow with more info on the game plan to help prevent and/or manage my counts proactively this next round (#6).

Prayers for platelets...and other cells ;)

Monday morning I go to the oncologist for blood work and to meet with the oncologist. They want me to come in a day prior to my scheduled chemo appointment to check my numbers since they were so low last week. Last week my platelets were 26 (if they get to 20 or below, or if I start bleeding while they're as low as they are now I'll end up needing a transfusion) - they need to be over 100 to get chemo. My WBC count was 2.3 (up from 1.4 the week prior) - they need to remain above 2.0 to get chemo. My RBC count was 9.8 (below 10 is anemic) - if they're still below 10 tomorrow I'll be getting some expensive shot in the arse (I'm ok with that). I'm praying for platelets, white blood cells and red blood cells - for the numbers to be above the required amount to resume treatment. I'm also praying that I can continue to remain otherwise healthy, avoid the dreaded swine flu, and avoid any injury that might cause me to bleed since I don't have the necessary platelets for clotting. We're going through Purell hand sanitizer like water around here. I carry it everywhere I go and use it countless times per day if I'm out of the house to help avoid catching anything that could make me sick while my WBC count is still so low. My hands are getting dry and chapped so I have to also carry lotion to keep moisturized to avoid natural cuts/scratches. I'm feeling pretty good. Just tired. I have had a mild headache and all over body aches and pains (muscular) this week, which apparently is normal for this stage of chemo, and I can't take any pain relievers since they affect platelets, so I just try to not think about it and when I'm sitting still I massage my arms and legs and do some gentle stretching for a bit of relief. Bob was home for part of the weekend and helped me get some sleep by taking over Cooper duty at night and letting me sleep in Saturday morning (thank you, Bob!!!). He had to fly out Sunday morning though :( and Cooper was so upset when he saw Dad come down the stairs in his uniform. But once I managed to distract him we proceeded to have a productive day of running errands. I am really missing church while my counts are down...another reason I need them to come up quickly - I can't wait to go back. Today, Cooper decided not to nap until he finally passed out at 5pm ;/ and slept til 7:30pm. Now it's nearly 9pm and he wants to play play play...so it's going to be an interesting night haha. Well...I'd like to go forward with chemo cycle #6 this week if my blood work meets the requirements - that's what I'm praying and hoping for, as crazy as that makes me. Blood work on Monday, and hopefully chemo on Tuesday. Thank you so much for your continued thoughts and prayers. I'm so grateful for, and touched by, your love and support. Love, Julie

Tattoos and zzzzz's

OK, not really tattoos, but if I squint really hard to blur my vision then I can imagine the bruises that are popping up all over my body as pretty tattoos. haha. I'm up to four bruises now and thinking I really really wish I could do something, besides pray of course, to boost my platelets so that I can guarantee treatment on Tuesday and stop being decorated with these not-so-pretty tattoos. I'll keep praying and squinting at my bruises to imagine them as something beautiful haha. Normally today I would be down at UCLA attending my breast cancer support group but my WBC count is still considered very low, making me vulnerable to infection, and one of my friends from group told me that last week a couple new members were present and both mentioned they had sick family members at home so it was good I didn't go last week either. It stinks though because it helps me so much to be there with my sister warriors and I miss them. Since I didn't go to the support group and is a non-work day for me, I decided it would be a day of sleep. So when the sitter arrived this morning I marched right back upstairs to bed and slept for 4 glorious hours, uninterrupted. Anyway, I can't remember the last time I slept that long (that's sad, and scary) uninterrupted - probably that first time I got a hotel room. Because, even if Cooper didn't wake me, the hot flashes usually will. At least with the hot flashes I can just throw the covers off, turn up the fan, turn over and go right back to sleep. Cooper's wakings involve getting out of bed, going across the hall and figuring out why the heck he's up and upset. I love him so much but night time is brutal for me, especially when Bob is away (which is more often than not). Now that I'm awake I'm working on finding answers to how I will get Cooper the H1N1 vaccine since he would be high risk if he contracted it (history of 2 cases of pneumonia and asthma symptoms since he was a newborn) and I would be high risk if he passed it to me. The pediatrician doesn't have the vaccine yet and is referring people to county h1n1 vaccine clinics in the meantime --- well --- there's now way we're going near one of those clinics with the #s of kids and parents that would be present - that would be like locking myself in a closet with sick people - not going to happen. So, I'm waiting for the pediatrician to call me back to help me figure out what we're going to do to get him the protection he needs. Lastly, I'd like to give a special shout out to my friend, Pat, who just completed his treatment and who has been quite brave as he withstood very painful side effects and infections and hospitalizations throughout treatment. Even through his very challenging treatments he took the time to communicate with and encourage and pray for others, including me. He's a beautiful person and I'm so grateful and honored to know him. Please include Pat in your prayers, asking God to heal his wounds quickly so that Pat can resume enjoying home cooked meals in place of a very inconvenient and unpleasant feeding tube that he is still dealing with. God bless you, Pat!

Carrot juice cocktails and to hell with quarantine

Ever since learning my WBC count was super low I've been on a mission to find things I can do to encourage the # to rise and to protect myself from possible infections or viruses particularly with that crazy H1N1 flu going around. Bob got on the internet in search of ways to up my number and concluded that I needed to up my protein intake which I could only laugh at since my daily intake is already between 66-80+ grams of protein (that's a lot, as recommended by my guru holistic med doc at UCLA). Then a friend of mine told me she had just seen Dr.Oz on TV talking about how carrot juice helped with the production of WBC so I got busy finding a way to tolerate adding carrot juice to my daily routine. ICK. Don't get me wrong - I love carrots. I enjoy snacking on them. But I just can't deal with drinking them. So I posted a request to Facebook requesting carrot juice recipes that would help disguise the carrot juice and I received lots of great suggestions. Today, I finally arrived at the combination I could actually enjoy - it's equal parts carrot, apple and pineapple juice. So, if it ends up not helping to raise my count I will at least not be upset about having to gulp something awful every day. But I got a late start with it, unfortunately. Since getting home from last Tuesday's appointment where I learned about my crashed WBC count, I've been on a self-imposed quarantine to avoid infections, colds, flu and the like given my increased vulnerability. It was much easier to stay home when Bob was home and could run out and get things I needed and to keep me company so I wouldn't feel isolated or lonely. But he had to head out to work Saturday morning so I faced a weekend of cabin fever with a toddler teething molars (B-R-U-T-A-L). I didn't even get to noon on Saturday before I found myself packing Cooper into the car to get out of the house. It was innocent enough, at first, as I decided I'd play it safe and stay in the car and just drive around while Cooper napped. I drove for over an hour as Cooper snoozed and then when he woke up I couldn't bring myself to just go home and found myself headed for Babies R Us to buy a play yard gate thingie. I decided that if I was going to be stuck at home we needed this thing so that we could create a big play arena in the yard which would prevent Cooper from running off to areas of the yard I didn't want him in, so that I wouldn't have to chase him since I don't have the energy - I am out of breath just carrying him up or down the stairs. Anyway, I was super careful, didn't touch the shopping cart, brought hand sanitizer and used it after touching anything, etc. I figured this outing scratched the itch to get out of the house and I'd stay put the rest of the weekend. Wrong. I managed to resist the urge to go out only until about noon and then we were up and out again and this time I headed to the food market to pick up a few things. To minimize my exposure to crowds/germs I went to a market I don't usually go to, specifically because they are never ever crowded - not even on the weekends - because they're so ridiculously expensive (Bristol Farms). I could only get a few of the things I needed because their prices were so absurd and then we headed home. On the way home I spoke with my friend who asked if it was safe for me to go out to dinner and I couldn't resist the opportunity to stay out of the house a bit longer and we headed to a local spot to meet up. We went early to avoid the typical dinner crowd and had a great dinner. Thank you, Tara, for helping me escape the miserable self-imposed quarantine tonight :). I'm hoping that my paranoia about catching something served me well enough the majority of the week and that I won't have reason to regret my little outings this weekend. Oh, I nearly forgot to mention that on Friday night I had such fun on Facebook with my online girlfriends who saw my post about the #beatcancer initiative to raise money for cancer research and they initiated a "post-off". Several of us chatted via our Facebook status updates - posting frequent updates that included "#beatcancer" to drive the fundraising effort. It was so much fun and I'm in awe - daily - of the amazing love and support sent my way from friends and family who believe in me and want to do whatever they can to help me and so many others who are touched by cancer. Thank you so much for all that you do to help me get through this. Finally, I have a special prayer request. Please pray that my white blood cell count has risen enough, and that my platelet count has remained high enough, to resume chemo treatment this week. I go back in on Tuesday at 11am pacific time, to have my blood tested and if the results are satisfactory then to resume completion of chemo cycle #5b. Thank you so much for your prayers and positive thoughts!! Love, Julie

Cycle 5b update: delayed by a week

My white blood cell count was too low to receive the 2nd half of my chemo treatment yesterday. I was so upset. The doctor had the nurse explain the game plan to me so here's what I remember - they'll have me go back in one week to test my numbers again and resume the treatment. They'll switch me from Neulasta to Neupogen which is a shorter acting drug that stimulates WBC production and I'll get that injected daily for a series of days following every treatment. The Neulasta is the longer acting version which I previously received once per cycle. So why is my count so low? Well there is a cumulative drop that occurs with chemo, and my numbers were dropping with each treatment as they expect will happen. The doc had the nurse tell me that it was actually surprising that this didn't happen sooner. Then there is the possibility that some chemo drugs just really hit you harder than others and that appears to be what is happening with the new chemo cocktail I started a week ago. Besides delaying treatment (thereby causing my treatment end date to be pushed to during or beyond Christmas and thus further delaying surgery and radiation treatment too), the other bummer about this is that I'm now much higher risk for an infection and I basically need to hunker down and stay home as much as possible to avoid coming in contact with things like the pesky swine flu (for which I now also can't get the vaccine until further notice). Bob, my sweet husband, says that I should look on the bright side and take this to mean that the treatment is working. I have to admit that when I was sailing through the first four treatments there was a fear that it seemed to be too easy to be effective. I even asked my doc a few times and he reassured me that doing well during treatment didn't mean it wasn't working. Although I'm disappointed by this news, I'm feeling OK. I'm super tired and I noticed last night that I'm out of breath by the time I get to the top of my stairs - just like I felt whenever I had to get up to go to an appointment or down the hall after a couple months of bed rest while pregnant with Cooper. The nausea I felt on days 2-6 has left me, thankfully. I wish there was something I could do and know that it was helping raise my WBC count but the nurses tell me there isn't anything I can do that I'm not already doing (eat healthy, rest, etc.) - although I know I need more rest than I've been getting these past few weeks so Bob and I are working on fixing that (for instance, we resumed sleep training with Cooper since our trip and other factors have disrupted his ability to sleep long stretches at night). In other news, I am returning to work (from home) Friday on a reduced (very) schedule. I have mixed emotions about this. I'm excited because I miss my work friends and the distraction that work will provide and get my mind off of cancer. Although part of me is worried that splitting my focus could be detrimental to both my health and my productivity. Despite my fears, I need to do it because the bottom line is that we can't afford financially the drop in pay that would result if I didn't go back at this time. If, however, we find it to become too much of a strain on me we will reassess. I don't think that will become necessary. Fortunately, I work for an AMAZING company that has been so incredibly supportive during this craziness. They have never pressured me to return before I'm ready - in fact they encourage me to take the time I need to get well and check in on me and send me encouraging messages and cards and gifts that remind me often how much they care. I am so truly blessed and grateful for their support and love, now and always.