Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Chemo cycle 7, part a - received :)

I forgot to post that I did indeed receive chemo cycle #7, part a, on Tuesday. My counts were great - WBC up to 7.3 - hasn't been that high since the very first couple of treatments. Platelets were over 250 and in the normal range, and the other numbers all looked pretty good for a gal that's had 6 rounds of chemo already. I am a bit anemic so they're awaiting insurance approval to give me a shot to remedy that and help me avoid a transfusion for that craziness. Speaking of insurance, mine has finally given in and paid for that breast MRI they were challenging. Lucky for them because the wrath of Julie is...well, they didn't want to go there haha. So I'm on day 2 of this cycle and here's how it's going so far...queasy but not horrible thanks to the anti-nausea meds which are taking the edge off - well that and ginger ale and toast. As has been the case previously, the first day of neupogen (today) brings forth a flush red tone over my face and neck. In the early cycles I thought this was due to the steroids and they did too...but it seems it's actually from the neulasta (back then) and the neupogen (now). I have the tell-tale bone pain back too - centralized in my skull, producing a headache and achy neck. Taking tylenol helped but not quite as much as an Advil or Aleve would do but I'm avoiding those drugs b/c of their effect on platelets since I have to have good numbers again next Tuesday to get part b of the chemo. I'm achy all over - back, neck, legs, arms - doc said that's typical for those that have been on chemo this long or longer. I'm OK with all of this - kind of makes me feel like it's working and doing its job. I'm not complaining at all. As I near the end of the chemo part of my journey, with just 1.5 cycles left, I am excited and nervous too. Excited to be another step closer to being done with cancer, but nervous and terrified that going off chemo would make me vulnerable again - it makes me feel protected right now. I'll need to work through that. The nerves are really working at regenerating under my armpits and while I welcome the return of some feeling - especially the left side where the numbness is insane from the lymph node dissection - the sharp pains and itchiness this process brings is not fun and makes me nervous. That, combined with the freaky dream I had the other night about finding another lump under my arm, just is driving me batty sometimes. I catch myself feeling my armpits frequently and at random times in random places - like the grocery store. I must look like a total weirdo standing in the produce department with a bald head and my hand under my armpit feeling for lumps that damn well better not exist. LOL This is yet another thing I'll have to work through. sigh. I put it all in God's hands. He will cure me and make me well and allow me to live to see my son get married and give me grandchildren. I believe in Him. I praise Him every night for the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I know He has given me the fighting spirit, the will and the resources to be my own best advocate, and put me in this place and time so that I would have the best support, the best healthcare providers, and the will to live and beat this disease. He has a plan for me and I'm ready to fulfill it, whatever it may be.

4 comments:

  1. Love your upbeat attitude. I'm thinking of your and always wishing you the best!

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  2. Good for you! Feel well! Keep positive! Who gives a crap what they think about you in the grocery store or anywhere else for that matter! Kudos to you for being able to go to the grocery store at all!!! Pain sucks, no matter how positive you want/try to be, but you are getting through this with charm and dignity! You go girl!

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  3. God's got some mightly powerful hands. AMEN!

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  4. I can't imagine someone in your shoes not worrying about those things, Julie. If you can beat cancer, you can beat those dark thoughts, too. You will WIN! Prayers and positive vibes coming your way!

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