I'm laying in bed. The lights are out...have been for hours. Everyone but me is sleeping. The house is quiet but my mind is not. Heard today that a friend in my breast cancer support group has had a recurrence. Don't know the details. Don't know if I want to know. She had only recently finished treatment...maybe 3 months ago at most. Triple negative damn it. My heart aches for her. For me. For all of us.
Spoke to Dr.B tonight. Getting my PET scan soon. Stopping in today to pick up the order and have a blood draw. Need pre-radiation baseline and to assess my vitamin D level to ensure I take enough of it in supplement form. We talked about Zometa again. Can't elaborate on that yet. Soon.
I need to replace the worry and fear as soon as possible but need to get it out so it's not bottled up inside because that would be bad too. I need to let someone in particular know how to better support me because their own emotions are causing this person to say and do things that are hurting me deeply even though I know that is the very last thing this person wants to do. It's happening a lot and it's making it really hard for me to feel supported by this very important person. I pray that we can fix it asap.
I'm laying it all in God's hands. Asking Him to help me leverage my skills and faith to find solutions and bring me some calm of mind.
Thank you for being here. For your prayers and encouragement.
It's after 3am now. I hope I can get some sleep before the alarm goes off.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry