Thursday, June 11, 2009

Bye bye boobies

Boobies. Knockers. Jugs. Tits. I once considered them to be among my key physical assets but then they got in the way (too big) so I had them made smaller. Then I got pregnant and they got huge again, and soon discovered that they didn't produce adequate nourishment for my sweet Cooper and had to accept their failure to function as God intended. A year after giving birth, they're heavy, saggy, and now one has cancer. My boobs have failed me so I am breaking up with them. I'm saying good bye to my boobs tonight. They'll be gone tomorrow. I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand I'm angry as hell - I don't care so much about losing my natural born boobs but I'm pissed about having cancer. I mean, WTF!? But then, if I'm going to lose my original knockers, I may as well get the door prize - a set of new perky replacements. They don't come without a steep price though. There will be other surgeries down the road. Replacement of expanders with regular implants, then later construction of artificial nipples (yup, I'm losing those tomorrow too). And, if my radiation treatments really mess up the implants (which happens in 50-60% of the time with implant reconstruction), another surgery to repair that. I could be facing 3-4 surgeries within the next 1-2 years. *sigh* Hey cancer, I hope you have your bags packed because I'm coming for you and it isn't going to be pretty because I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

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